Sea, Sunshine and Sand in Fuerteventura -2 May 2012 to 9 May 2012

A whole week away together in the sunshine and warmth of the Canary Islands, I just couldn’t wait and after all the stress of recent months this break was very timely for us both. Gretchen has often spoken about Fuerteventura and so I was keen to visit the island to see what it was she loved about it. I think that the constant sunshine, golden sandy beaches, clean turquoise seas and great surfing and snorkelling probably have something to do with it.
We had rented an apartment in the Las Dunas Residential complex on the west side of Correlejo. The complex didn’t disappoint. We had a balcony that looked out over a beautiful pool (that was very rarely used as this was mainly residential rather than a holiday complex) and there were no children in the complex either which meant that it was very quiet and peaceful. There was a useful wifi zone in the complex (so that we could still stay in touch with work) and tennis courts and a gym (which we didn’t use).
A real find was a small bay that was a short walk from our complex, that was fantastic for snorkeling. Once in the water the bed of the sea was rocky and home to lots of different fish. We also saw large shoals of fish that came close in to the beach probably to enjoy the warm currents. Lovely.
The highlight of the trip however was a 4 hour buggy ride that we took on our penultimate day, up to the Volcanoes and round to El Cotillo (a surfers beach) and then down the more rugged coastline back towards Correlejo. By the time we got back home we were caked in dust and my hair was solid and matted. But it was worth it! We will definitely be back again in the future.

Friday 13 April to Sunday 15 April 2012 - The Death of My Father

I had just arrived at my office in Bracknell after a morning of client visits when my mobile phone rang with a message from Mum. She had been called by the Doctors in Lavant Ward at St Richard’s Hospital to say that Dad was gravely ill and that she should come into the hospital to be with him. I arranged a taxi straight away to pick her up from home and I jumped in my car and drove straight down to Chichester to be with her. We were told that Dad had asked the doctors to stop his medication and let him die and when asked where he wanted to die he apparently insisted that he die in Hospital and not be moved home. In these circumstances they put a patient on a programme that is called the Liverpool Care Plan and it involves stopping medication, food and water and just giving the patient a level of care and pain relief that is needed to keep them comfortable while they pass away. Dad was already on the LCP by the time we arrived at St Richard’s.
My Dad has been in Hospital for 11 weeks altogether. He was taken in to Bognor Regis War Memorial Hospital on 2 February when he fell at home for the third time in a few days and had to call out the paramedics. They suggested he go into A&E to be checked out. From there he spent 3 weeks in Bognor, the purpose being to rehabilitate him and help him to walk again properly using a walking frame. I was annoyed with the ward there though as they never put Dad’s legs up during the day so the water retention problem that had been causing his legs to swell in the previous months now escalated out of control and his poor body filled up with liquid. I kept asking them to find a stool to put his legs up but it fell on deaf ears and they just kept saying that they couldn’t find a stool!! He ended up being moved into Lavant Ward in Chichester Hospital so that they could try and drain the excess water from his body. Over the next 7 weeks we watched dad get increasingly worse, the size of his limbs did eventually start to subside but he was clearly very ill by this time and I could tell that he was dying. The Doctors never said that however and led us to believe that dad would be coming home. We spent a great deal of time preparing for this event, equipping the house with the necessary aids he would need and arranging for carers to come in 4 times a day to look after him. So it was a big shock on Friday 13 April to get that call to say that he was dying.
I arrived at the Hospital at 14.00 and joined Mum at Dad’s bedside. The curtains had been pulled around him and I asked if he could be moved into a single room but they had nothing available. Dad did stir at one point and the nurses came to administer some morphine to make him more comfortable. Saboohi drove down to be with us late afternoon and I was glad to have her there as she was able to take Mum home in the evening to get some rest. I contacted Bryan and Margaret who were holidaying in Nerja, Spain and they quickly booked a flight home. We were not sure however if they would get to the Hospital before Dad passed away, they couldn’t get a flight until Saturday and we worked it out that they would get to us at the Hospital for about 9 o’clock on Saturday night. We just hoped and prayed that they would make it in time.
I decided to stay with Dad for the night. I couldn’t bear to leave him, what he passed away during the night and we weren’t there? I wanted to be with him, for one of us to be with him. Iwas given a blanket and pillow by the staff who were very kind and kept checking on me through the evening. I was given a bedroom nearby too so that I could get some proper rest during the night and I took advantage of this for a few hours in the early hours of the morning. It was amazingly quiet sitting with Dad through the night. He didn’t stir at all, he was in a comatose state now, and the patients slept quite quietly too.
Saboohi and Mum were back with us by breakfast time and a long day of vigil commenced. Dad ‘s breathing remained smooth and constant throughout the day and he was unchanged, thankfully, by the time Bryan, Margaret, Anna and Ella arrived in the evening. Anna and Ella had insisted on coming to see their Grandad, Laura however had not been told about Dad’s decline as she was away on a Birthday break in Dublin with friends. We were all hoping and praying that Dad would not pass away on Laura’s birthday. Mum and I left the Hospital at about 10 pm and Margaret and Bryan stayed with Dad until the early hours.
On Sunday we started to see a change in Dad’s breathing, it became more laboured and we knew it wouldn’t be long now before we would be saying goodbye to him. The Chaplain came around at 10.30 to read a prayer with us and to bless him. Laura and Ella called in to see him too before leaving for home at about midday. I was alone with Dad for 15 mins while everyone else walked outside to say good bye to the girls. All weekend we have been talking to Dad, kissing him and holding his hand in the hope that he knows we are there. As soon as Margaret, Bryan and Mum came back into the cubicle his breathing became very shallow and I could tell he was leaving us. We all gathered around him, Mum held his hand and I held Mum while Bryan and Margaret stood on the other side of the bed. And Dad....took his final breath. It was so gentle and serene. If there is such a thing as a beautiful death then we had just experienced it. We called the nurse and she took his pulse. His heart was still beating but it was faint. We always knew Dad’s heart would not let him down. He had the heart of an elephant (so his doctor had told him) and we knew that it would be the last thing to let him down. Dad died at 13.00 on Sunday 15 April 2012. We will all miss him terribly.

Birthday Celebrations in Devon - 27 April to 29 April 2012

Gretchen knows how much I love Dartmouth. It is my special and favourite place in the whole of the UK, the place I would like to retire to and have my ashes scattered when the time comes (sorry to be morbid). My time spent at the Naval College in 1985 are some of the happiest memories of my life and the flavour and atmosphere of the place just makes me feel as though I am home whenever I visit. To be different, Gretchen booked us in at a lovely hotel, nestled in a valley around Dittisham called Fingals. A large, relaxed and somewhat eccentric place, we were the only visitors there for the two nights of our stay and had personal access therefore to the swimming pool, sauna, games room and restaurant. The owners’ 2 dogs, Fennel and Leaf roamed around the grounds like friendly security guards, checking us out everytime we wandered through the grounds. At breakfast they would come to our table to see if they could help us clean our plates, same thing at Suppertime and at afternoon tea. We saw them more often than the owners! We stayed in a wooden house in the grounds called The Folly. It was 2 stories with a bedroom downstairs and a door that opened out onto a small landing that hung over the raging river outside. Upstairs it was like a summerhouse with big sofas, TV and an old Vinyl record player plus vinyl records. We enjoyed an obligatory bottle of champagne on arrival. Yum.
On my Birthday I had lots of presents to open. Amongst other things Gretchen gave me a beautiful pair of pearl earrings from Tiffany’s to match my pearl necklace (a birthday present in 2008 from Saboohi). They are really very special.
We spent the morning in my beloved Dartmouth and then crossed the river on the ferry to visit Coleton Fishacre the 1920’s home of the D’Oyly Carte Family and one of the most gorgeous National Trust houses I have visited. I love the architecture and styles of the 1920’s, clean lines, simple but quality designs and textiles, I love it. The gardens are stunning too and stretch down to the cliffs with magnificent views. I couldn’t believe that I had never visited this house before in all the times I have visited Dartmouth. A real find.

Weekend in Bath - Thursday 22 March 2012 - Sunday 25 March 2012

For Gretchen’s 45th Birthday I booked a 3 night break in Bath. We have started a notebook that has a “bucket list” of things we both want to do and a “weekend in Bath” is something that Gretchen had put down as one of her wishes. I booked us into the Cranleigh Hotel (actually a posh B&B) mainly because it had terrific reviews on Trip Adviser and they have beautifully furnished Victorian rooms with big four poster beds. I had arranged for a Birthday Cake and bottle of Champagne to be waiting for us in our room on arrival and they did us proud. It was perfect.
We drove down to Bath in my Porsche Boxster but for the rest of the weekend it sat alone in the car park. Bath is not a place for cars really and it only took us a 20 stroll to get into the heart of the city. The weather all weekend was beautiful with warm, Sunny days. We visited all the usual attractions the Roman Baths, Jane Austen Museum, No 1 Royal Crescent and a trip down the river to Bathampton Mill. On our last day we drove to the National Trust Stately Home Dyrham House, which was used in the Film “The Remains of the Day” starring Emma Thompson and Anthony Hopkins. It is a 17th House that has the most beautiful approach as the house is et in a valley. There used to be a village in the valley with a Church and houses but over the years the House has subsumed all of these buildings. It is unusual as it houses alot of Dutch paintings and collectables as the owner used to be the British Ambassador in Holland.
A lovely weekend treat with lots of happy memories to take away with us.

New Year in Cornwall - 28 Dec 2011 to 3 Jan 2012

After a hectic few days with the family over Christmas it was now time for Gretchen and I to retreat to a beautiful hideaway cottage in the charming village of Croyde,
Cornwall. We both chose Croyde because of the surfing opportunities and we wanted to do some bodyboarding in the icy winter sea. This bay is a surfing paradise
and is busy with surfers all year round. Thankfully we were able to hire full winter wetsuits from one of the local shops (otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to enter the sea let alone stay in for any reasonable amount of time.

We went bodyboarding twice on 30 December and again on 2 January. It was very cold and our suits were still damp from the previous user but once we were in the sea we did start to warm up and the surfing was very exciting. I have really taken to this sport and as there was a sale on at the Hire shop I decided to invest in a new Spring/Summer wetsuit. Hope I don’t have to wait too long to wear it!

The weather was quite damp and grey during most of the week so we spent a great deal of time huddled up in our lovely cottage watching DVDs and drinking and eating to
excess (again!). We watched the ROME box set and The L Word Box Set. We did have a few trips out. One day we visited Dartington Glass in Great Torrington and I bought a beautiful pair of liqueur glasses for Gretchen as a reminder of the trip. But nainly we stayed in and just enjoyed each other’s company, relaxed in the Jacuzzi bath upstairs and watched our DVDs. Perfect.

Christmas Day 2011

It was a real family Christmas this year as I drove Mum and Dad up to Bryan and Margaret’s on Christmas Eve. As all the girls were at home and as Dad is unable to scale the stairs now, Bryan had booked Mum and Dad into the Holiday Inn which was just 5 mins down the road, at the Airport. It was quite a walk from the car to the bedroom (on the ground floor but Dad was great and managed the walk, mainly without stopping. He has been suffering with water retention in his legs recently which has curtailed his mobility and on the first night in the Hotel he had a water blister on one of his legs that burst. Once open it constantly weeps but poor thing, he endured it in silence for the whole break.

Christmas Day was the usual mix of eating to excess, present opening to excess and game playing to excess. The main games this year were a homemade version of Deal or No Deal complete with 26 red boxes and a published board game version of Million Pound Drop. All expertly hosted by Bryan of course!

Saturday 29 October 2011 – Antonietta’s 50th Birthday Party

Today I was up early to fly out to Italy for a 50th Birthday Party for Antonietta. Antonietta and I have been friends since we were both 16 years old. She is my oldest friend and more like a Sister than just a friend. Her Sister Marilina had organised a 50th party for her at Tre Ciuffi Hotel in Laigueglia and my attendance was to be a surprise. So in order to make sure it remained a surprise I arranged it so that I wouldn’t arrive until early evening on the day of the party (today). Her actual birthday is on 3 November.
I asked Gretchen to come along with me as I really wanted her to see this very special place that is like a second home to me and to meet my “Italian Family”. We flew into Genoa, got a bus to the train station and then a taxi from Alassio station to Laigueglia. When we walked into the Tre Ciuffi Garden it was clear from Antonietta’s joyful and tearful reaction that it had been a genuine surprise...and thankfully a welcome one.
So this evening there were about 40 guests sitting down together to celebrate with Antonietta . Presents were opened and Antonietta and I were both presented with a beautiful TShirt that had a photo of the 2 of us on it on the front and “50 today” on the back. Gretchen and I bought her a Silver broad bangle from The Lanes in Brighton plus a personalised bottle of champagne. It was such a lovely occasion with good company, great food and wine and lots of laughter. Another very special memory to add to the Laigueglia archive!
For the next couple of days Gretchen and I spent quality time with the family, visiting Alassio, spending lazy morning breakfasts at the beach cafe and even venturing into the sea for a swim. The weather for this time of year was absolutely beautiful and the weekend party had naturally coincided with an Italian holiday weekend so Laigueglia was busy and lively. The beach looked so different with all the cabins and deck chairs cleared away from the sand. It meant that the whole beach was open to the public and you could sit and swim wherever you wanted for a change. It was a beautiful few days.

14 October 2011 to 17 October 2011 – BodySurfing in Watergate Bay, Cornwall

Gretchen booked a beautiful apartment at Watergate Bay this weekend. http://www.watergatebay.com/waves.php Watergate Bay is simply stunning - a fantastic long sandy beach which stretches for over two miles at low tide. Your first glimpse of the bay, as you come over the top of the hill, is one of the most memorable views in Cornwall.
Gretchen has spent many wonderful family holidays on this stretch of the Cornish coast and it is particularly well known with surfers as the beach and the breakers along here are fantastic. She has surfed here before but this weekend she was introducing me to the joys of body boarding. The weather was glorious for the time of year and the sea surprisingly warm. I borrowed a short wetsuit from Gretchen to enable me to stay in the water for longer because swimming in the Atlantic can be cold all year round. I rarely swim in the sea around the British coast and if I do venture in it is never for very long but I loved the thrill and excitement of body boarding. When you catch a wave just at breaking point the ride you get is exhilarating and often will carry you all the way in, up onto the beach. I couldn’t believe that I had never done this before – it is great fun. For the first day I used a borrowed board but I enjoyed the experience so much that I bought a new body board (yellow/orange) from the surf shack shop on the beach at Watergate, for the second day.
We didn’t stray very far from the bay for the 3 nights we stayed there. One evening we took a bottle of champagne and a picnic of fish and chips onto the beach to watch the sunset over the bay. Even when the light faded and it became dark there were still surfers out taking on the breakers –either very brave or a little bit crazy. You decide!

29 September 2011 – IRP Awards Evening 2011

This year the Institute of Recruitment Practice (IRP) shortlisted me for the “Best Newcomer Award” and shortlisted FRS (Forces Recruitment Services) for the “Best Small Recruitment Company” Award. Tonight was the Awards Ceremony up a The Lancaster Hotel in Central London and so Myself, Graham Brown (MD and Founder of FRS) and Alan Cawthorne (Director of Finance and Business Development for FRS) all attended the ceremony in the hope that we may win something (see photo)! It was a glamorous occasion and an opportunity to dress up and meet other people from the world of recruitment. I booked a taxi into town (collecting me from Gretchen’s house) as I didn’t want to travel on public transport in my party dress. Bill Turnbull from BBC Breakfast was the compare o the evening. Unfortunately we didn’t win anything but we had a wonderful evening.

5 September 2011 – Move to North Lodge, Aldwick, - A new start

For the last 8 weeks I have been searching for somewhere to live so that I could move out of Bawtree Close and start new life on my own. I have seen many flats and houses up in Sutton but most were pokey or tired and I couldn’t see myself living in any of them. So I switched my sights to Bognor and Chichester. I thought it may be better to be closer to mum and dad now that they need more support and I was hopeful that i would find a nicer home within my price bracket in that area. I can live and work anywhere too.
It has been a tricky few months for me and friends such as Sandy, Ingrid and Sandra have give me so much support, I am not sure what I would have done without them. I have built up a new friendship too during this period with Gretchen Rowles, a friend of Sandi’s that is a neighbour of hers at Winkworth Place. House hunting, golfing, companionship when I have felt lonely, you name it and Gretchen has been there supporting me. I feel very blessed to have met her at this otherwise bleak period of my life and today Gretchen helped me to move into my new (rented) house at North Lodge in Aldwick (just 3 mins walk from Mum and Dad’s house). Dacil Graham was also here too to help me move (another wonderful friend!) and whilst moving is always stressful it can also be liberating and exciting and today I felt all of these emotions.
North Lodge stands at the old entrance to The Grange in Aldwick, which used to be a grand house where royalty came to spend holidays and re co-operate after illness, but which is now converted into apartments and the old grounds have been developed with newer houses. North Lodge dates from the 1880s and is a lovely house with bags of character. The perfect place to set up home for me and just a 4 minute walk from the beach.
Dacil had to leave this afternoon but Gretchen stayed to celebrate with me with a lovely bottle of champagne. Here’s to my new life.

27 July 2011 to 2 August 2011 – Holiday in Laigueglia with Mum and Dad

Dad’s mobility is starting to wane now as his legs are swelling up and he is starting to fall quite regularly so we thought it would be good to take him and Mum of course for another trip to Laigueglia in Italy. It is like a second home for us as many family holidays were spent here in the 70’s and 80’s at the little hotel Tre Ciuffi, still owned by our very good friends the Garassino family. The hotel is now run by Marilina (youngest daughter) and her husband Mario and the real charm of Tre Ciuffi is that it is like a home from home and has hardly changed at all in all the years we have been visiting. I took a wheelchair to ferry Dad around, down to the beach and back, to make sure that we could enjoy the beach and the sunshine but we didn’t venture too far this time. It was frustrating for dad as he is no longer fit enough to swim in the sea and had to sit under an umbrella on the beach in his wheelchair for most of the day. It was a time to reminisce really and remember past holidays and departed friends. We all enjoyed the visit.

July 2012 – The end of an era

At the beginning of July a major change happened in my life, when my relationship with Saboohi came to a sudden end. It was the start of a very difficult period for me, I wanted so much to try and make the relationship work and didn’t want to end it at that moment in our lives but I soon realised that it was the right decision for both of us. We have had a wonderful 5 years together and have some truly wonderful memories that will last for the rest of our lives but as a long term partnership we just had too little in common and were not compatible. My hope now is that in the future we will be able to salvage a good friendship from our time together - I guess time will tell. My fingers are crossed.

26 April 2011 to 29 April 2011 – Surprise 50th Birthday House Party in Devon

For my 50th birthday Saboohi told me that she was taking me away to a cottage in Devon, how lovely...just the 3 of us Saboohi, myself and the gorgeous Lilia. Perfect. When we arrived at the beautiful Beaconsfield House just outside Bideford Saboohi took me in to see our “cottage” and then insisted that we rush over to main house for a tour that started promptly at 4 pm. “Has someone famous lived here?” I enquired “No I don’t think so” Saboohi replied. I thought it a little odd at that point that there would be a formal tour of the house but I just went along with it....I’m on holiday! As we entered through the main door we walked into a huge hallway, it looked beautiful. “There is no-one here!” I observed. “Are you sure there is a tour?” At this point Saboohi was wandering in and out of the rooms as if it was her own home while I felt a little more inhibited about being there with no host around. “say hello” said Saboohi. “Who to? There’s no-one here??” I replied. Now I was starting to worry about Saboohi’s sanity and starting to feel uncomfortable about being in this grand house with Saboohi ferreting around as though she was going to run off with the silver at any moment. “Let’s go out into the Garden, perhaps the tour has started” she suggested. Phew, I was out of there like a shot. As we walked to the back of the house I saw a group of people loitering underneath some trees and thought, a long last we have found the group! It took me some moments to realise that I knew all of these people standing under the trees and that Saboohi had hired the whole house along with the 5 extra cottages and 25 acres of woodland so that she could give me a surprise 50th Birthday Weekend with my friends. The most wonderful surprise and gift anyone has ever given me, it was fabulous.
Everything was planned to perfection by Saboohi. Carly-Ann Wright a former colleague of ours from Carshalton College, came along to do all the cooking for us and boy she did a great job, home cooked lasagne, trifles, cakes etc etc. Cooking for 15 to 20 people would scare me to death but she did a fabulous job. On my Birthday we had a celebration dinner in the evening, 5 courses (poor Carly) and a live Jazz Band followed by a disco. All planned to perfection of course.
We spent 3 days relaxing, eating, drinking, chatting together and waling the dogs around the 25 aces of private land. Everyone who has a dog was invited to bring them along and all together there were about 8 dogs in residence. They all got on so well and of course Lilia was the boss! It was lovely to see her at home in the big house running up to the bedroom to rest when she wanted to and then out into the woods to explore a little. She had a ball.
On our second day at the house we had a team of masseurs arrive to give us all a treatment (massage, facial, reflexology etc), very indulgent and such a treat. The weather was wonderful for the whole 3 days (best of 2011) and so the hot tub and swimming pool in the garden became a gathering place during the day. How lucky were we.
This was a birthday that I will never forget .

20 April 2011 to 23 April 2011- Holiday in Todi, Italy

Tim and Annie Lyth have been inviting us to spend time with them in their house in Todi for some time now and this April we finally booked the flights to Rome and went over to spend a few days with them both. Whilst at Carshalton College together Saboohi and I heard all about the renovation work that Tim and Annie were carrying out on the house. It was fairly basic and tired when they purchased it but with the use of local architects and artisans they have taken the little house through a remarkable renaissance and now it is truly a beautiful home. The hill top village of Todi is stunning and architecturally very beautiful. Most homes benefit from breathtaking views due to their elevated positions and Tim and Annie’s house is no exception. see it at: http://www.ownersdirect.co.uk/italy/it4573.htm

There was an art festival on in Todi during the few days we were there. Annie and I both found a painting each which we wanted to buy. My idea was to purchase the painting as a 50th Birthday present and to ask family and friends to donate money towards it instead of buying individual presents. I had seen a painting in Laigueglia that I had thought of buying (back in February) but it was priced at 2800 euros so it was too expensive. The painting in Todi was by an Italian Artist called Stefano Puleo. He has a Gaugin painting style, bold colours and cartoon style faces (see photo). This painting was of a group of women in a cafe. Quite alluring and sexy in dress but what attracted me was the bold colours. It is a screen print (limited to 99) which has then been hand finished by the artist. The price for my painting was 1000 euros and Annie’s was 2800 euros. Of course we sent in our secret weapon to negotiate on our behalf – Saboohi. Even working in a foreign language Saboohi is an accomplished negotiator and she finally secured the sale for us at 2800 euros for the 2 paintings! Well done Saboohi.

On the Friday (Good Friday) we went to Assisi for the day. I haven’t visited Assisi since I toured Italy with my friend Karen Grainger back in 1981 but there was little change. We visited the basilica (which has been restored since it was partly demolished by an earthquake in the 90s) and we also visited Santa Clara. When I visited Assisi last time her charred body was on display in the church with a nun sitting by the side of her, keeping constant vigil. Today however her remains have been moved and she is no longer on display.

Tim and Anni also took us to visit a remarkable village that is perched on top of a small peak that has a valley all around it, called Bagnoreggio. When you see it for the first time it takes your breath away it is so unusual. You have to cross a small suspension bridge to get into the village and the only vehicles that can cross the bridge are the little 3 wheeled vehicles, that you find over on the continent. It is a really magical place and yet many Italians have never heard of it it seems.
A gorgeous and memorable few days. Thanks Tim and Annie.